


You Lift Me Up

by Rickey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Ficlet, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot, Smutlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-02
Updated: 2009-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:29:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rickey/pseuds/Rickey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People have the oddest conversations when stuck in a lift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Lift Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge: hprwfqf #48 Harry and Ron can't help themselves when they get trapped in a lift at the Ministry. Beta thanks to brumeux77 for taking a quick look at this.

"Ron, you need to learn how to say no. I think it's great you help George out at the store, but every single weekend? The extra few weeknights are bad enough. No one should work seven days a week. You're exhausted."

"I know, but he's so lost without Fred."

"I think he's been much better lately. You have – press three – to think of yourself."

"No, they changed the meeting to Larson's office. He's on six."

"I didn't hear that. Where was I?"

"Probably in the loo wanking."

"Wipe that grin off your face. It's your fault for mauling me in the hall."

"Mauling? Ha! You kissed me."

"I pecked you on the cheek. You threw me up against the wall."

"What can I say? It's been a while."

"Another reason to spend less time working."

"Did you really have a wank?"

…

"I was just taking the piss. I can't believe you— What was that?"

"Not sure, but we've stopped moving."

"Thank you, master of the obvious. Try the emergency button."

"Hello? This is Harry Potter. We're stuck in the lift between… floors four and five."

"You're such a Muggle sometimes."

"What?"

"It's not a fellytone."

"Telephone. No, but on Muggle lifts they have intercoms. You know, microphones?"

"Do you see a… whatever a… microfo is?"

"Umm, no. So what did the button do?"

"Don't have the faintest idea."

"Fantastic."

"Here, I'll try it."

"Stop pressing it so much. That can't be helping."

"So what's your idea?"

"And you call me Muggle. _Expecto Patronum!_ "

…

…

…

"Well that didn't work. Ron? Why didn't that work?"

"The lifts are magically sealed."

"Magically sealed?"

"You didn't know?"

"No… Why?"

"Years ago they had several accidents from magic interfering with the lift, so they had to seal them."

"But the interoffice memos?"

"They're the only things that work."

"How do—?"

"Who am I, Flitwick? Ask Hermione."

"So now what?"

"No idea. Sit down and wait I guess."

"Maybe we can pry the doors open?"

"Magically sealed."

"We could climb through the ceiling."

"Do you _see_ an opening in the ceiling?"

"Umm, no."

"Sit down, Harry."

"There has to be something."

"Sit. Down."

 _Heavy sigh_ "Fine."

"Look on the bright side – we have an excuse for missing the meeting."

 _Chuckle_

"That's my Harry. You know…"

"What?"

"If you're not too spent from your post-lunch wank…"

"What if the doors open?"

"Afraid, Potter?"

"Gnhh."

"My, your ears are sensitive. But if you want me to stop?"

"Don't stop. Feels good."

"I thought you'd see it my way."

"It's been over two weeks. Ahhh."

"It's not my fault you're asleep on the couch when I get home. Mmm, love your neck."

"I thought that maybe…"

"Shhhh."

"Missed you."

"Missed you, too."

 _Slurpy kissing noises_

"I get it! Because the magic can't pass, but it does work inside."

"Is that your idea of dirty talk?"

"No, the interoffice memos. I was able to conjure my Patronus. It just dispersed as it hit the barrier. The interoffice memos work because— mmmph."

"Mmm. You're talking too much."

 _Zip_

"Ahhh. Ron. Ron?"

"Get these off!"

"But…"

"Don't argue. Off!"

 _Sounds of fabric sliding_

 _Zip_

 _Sounds of fabric sliding_

"Come here, Harry. Sit on my lap."

 _Slurpy kissing noises_

"Mmm."

"Harry."

"Like that. T'sgood."

"When I stroke over the top?"

"Yes."

"And slide my cock against yours?"

"Yes."

"How about if I slide my hand back here?"

"Yes." _Pant_ "Yes. Want you. Inside me."

"Do you have lube?"

"No, why would I have lube?"

"You're the one wanking at work."

"Well I don't. Conjure it. Oh. Fuck. Hurry."

"The lift is magically sealed."

"I told you the spells work inside the lift. They just can't pass through."

"Oh."

"Fuck. I'll do it. _Lubricious!_ Here."

"You're an awfully bossy bottom."

"Today. And you're far worse."

 _Chuckle_ "Now, how's that?"

"Good."

"You like my fingers inside you, don't you?"

"Yes."

"You know everyone thinks I'm your bitch."

"Ungh. They do not."

"If they only knew…"

"Mmmm. Yeah."

"Like that?"

"Yeah, that's good. I'm ready. Want you."

"Stand up."

"Stand up?"

"Yeah. Now turn around. Hands flat against the wall. Merlin, you look amazing like that."

"What if the lift starts working?"

"Then someone's going to get an eyeful. Now spread 'em."

"Oh God."

 _Heavy breathing_

…

"Ron, you need to get on with this or we're really going to get caught."

"But that's what makes it so exciting."

"Move."

"Ever the romantic. Very well."

…

…

…

"Oh. Fuck. Harry."

"Yeah."

…

…

 _Sounds of skin slapping and wet sloppy monkey sex_

…

…

"Oh fuck. Harry. Harry. Ahhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhhhhhhh!"

 _Heavy breathing_

"The lift!"

"Bollocks! Ron, grab our clothes! Just grab them! Hold on!"

…

…

"Harry? Where are we?"

"Third floor loo."

"I thought—"

"You can Apparate within the Ministry just not into or out of."

"But the lift?"

"I Apparated just as the doors cracked open."

"Breaking the seal."

"Right."

"Smart man."

"Your man."

"Mine." _Growl_

 _Slurpy kissing noises_

"You are aware… I didn't come yet."

"Aren't you afraid of someone coming in?"

"Loo's out of order. This where I came after lunch."

"Aha. Well in that case…"

"Oh yeah. Love your mouth."

 _Slurpy sucking noises_

…

…

 

"Fuck. So good. Missed you. Fuck."

 _Slurpy sucking noises_

…

…

"Fuck." _Pant_ "Fuck. That's—"

 _Slurpy sucking noises_

…

"Unghhh." _Pant_

…

 _Pant_

"Yours."

"Mine. That was… I'm still shaking."

"We'd better get dressed and go to the meeting."

"It's probably over."

"Doubtful."

"Sadly true."

"I'll cut back on my hours at Wheezes."

"George will be fine. Besides he has Lee helping him out full time, and he can certainly afford to hire someone part time if he needs to."

"You're right. I'm sorry I haven't been around much."

…

"Harry? What?"

"I thought you might have been doing it to avoid me."

"Harry, no. No way."

"I thought maybe…"

"No. Love you. I don't care what people say. You're mine."

"Yours."

 _Kiss_

"We'd better go. The stuck in the lift excuse won't hold out much longer."

"Right. Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"There's no one else in the whole world that I'd like to be stuck in a lift with."

"Me too."

"And… I love you too."

 _Sound of door closing_


End file.
